idiosynCRAZY

"Rain or Shine" sir says…  We had to take pictures despite the weather’s tantrums.  And the worst, I have never been an expert to the SLR camera.  I am therefore, a frusrated Photo JOurnalist who tries, somehow tries, to take brilliant shots that may survive Sir Bien’s terrifying verdicts. 

    It could have been better to have stable aperture during one photo session, like the Sunday morning shooting (part 1) we had.  But the changes of lighting due to the weather’s ficklish behaviour gave me a hard time adjusting to the lighting.  I had to learn the twists and turns of a real photographer.  Sad to say, I was invain! 

    I stil have to spend a large amount for the photo development.  And among those shots, Im definitely unsure that  atleast three goes perfect. Although Sir BIen has a really kind heart ( having lent me his camera)  the fact that he is one famous Cebuano Photographer, makes him intimidating. 

    But, really, I have learned a lot…  and  I found sidewalk vendors pretty amusing when they pose for a human interest picture.  A lot of "manongs" would say "Hala bay, ma-artista na ta ani"… and I would feel this very deep pinch in my heart, like a lover would say "Youre beautiful"…heheh…  excuse me for being emotional at times.=)

    I love Photography!  It has taken a lot of my budget, it has left my Mom complaing on such major consumption of allowance, it has left me looking for a camera, it has left me bemused on F-16 rules, it has left me frustrated… and  despite all, it has taken me to where I really wished to belong:  to the streets…

     Ive been thinking about what major event I was to write about…. and realized I just turned 18…..
18, uhuh….I wanted to tell the world I was 18 already, or atleast proclaim  I can already be sued for libel and slander!freaky…  too much of my imagining things!  okay, back to my desire  to proclaim,. I realized I needed some resources to host a party, even a night out or a lunch out,so sad I had almost "nada" on my wallet.  My mom called up and told me to use my allowance for her "trusted daughter"  to prepare a little buffet for her friends.  Well, I had a sigh of relief!  I was thinking it wouldn’t take too much for time and financing…  and later on remembered I Have already made tooo many friends in life.
    Incase you don’t know, this is how it goes…  It is like a networking process.  You’ll have this friend, this friend has this other set of friends who automatically becomes your  new set of friends…
and every friend of this set of friends has another set of friends… and a boyfriend.. (just making it sound complicated, I apologize, heheh…)
   My brain almost got into a major migrain ( not meant literally),  analyzing how to fit so many people with a very limited budget…  I was even anticipating on what to cook and who cooks which,  I’m too crippled at the kitchen (I can learn)…. 
   I thank God somebody suggested I’d invite only those who made great changes in my life! : )

   I ended up putting up a minnie grill at the lawn… thanks a lot to my friends who helped me out!
From the market to the meal, till death do us part… heheh
    and I forgot, aside from my family who rang me up on the night of my 18th birthday,   somebody called me from afar…wheeew, you’ll never miss the water till the well runs dry. You just can’t blame me this time.

I believe I’m frail
This empty trail
Is one big shallow missery
The cotton grass
The hour glass
Is my mischief
When they won’t let me be
I’m staying down this circumstance
Under vindicated hands
They trace me up to see me
dreaming for the sun to rise
Wil they realize?…

    You are as beautiful as the
                  midnight rose
               the hour grows
               when your away…
    I feel as pitiful as an
               abandoned ring
               the painful stings
               from my prey…

I saw you
And you became my conquest
I tried believing I was free
But as of this moment, I’m a cynic
Tired of this lame hypocrisy

Rescue me
You have trapped me
When I intented nothing more
But to hold you in my memory
BUt you froze me instead…
Now I’ m cold, loving the chill…

How it hurts with delightful pain
To say that I’m mended
When I never was

The walk I had by the water
I always knew it was a dream
A dream…
For I knew It was you
Who played my desire
With a smile
A pointless smile
A childish smile
As childish as my heart...

                                      -Bejay