idiosynCRAZY

    I’ve just decided lately that journalism is my life!!!  I feel  motivated with our Journalistic Writing class…. very well defined and professionalised…..  I love Miss Amante, she meets with the student’s standards…  I also love sir Bien’s Philosophy on photography, very much linked to life and reality… I had to believe in natural slow motions, characters on pictures, prayers, attitude…  Miss Mia is as good as well… i’LL talk more the next time..

Skwela na sad….pirme naay huna2on…ma2d nila diversional activities para kita dili makabati ug kahidlaw…  Lisod ang kinabuhi kung ikaw way tumong, maayu sad nang kita maningkamut ug pag-eskwela para mkab.ot ang atong mga damgo…

Wa lang…feel kayu nako mag bisaysa, bisaya man gud ko… niya idol sad nako si Leo LAstimosa…sure! hehehe

cge bye na lang kung nonsense ko…

(These are two of the family pets, more like family to us…Moo and Boo on their WWJD collars……)

    Im gonna miss my hometown…
   The slow pace
    Internet hours
Midnight snacks…
My family
"tabo-an" in the market (during thursdays  and    fridays)

My Dad’s farm
Long naps, Siestas and Fiestas
The green mangos and the ’sinaguelas’  at the backyard
The summer
My comfi bed….  which usually gets to duty only in daytime

Just about everything especially Kutchi(the cat)
  The dogs Choco, Butter and Chippy…
  And the really really  adorable little puppies…Moo and Boo

All my bags are packed and I got to go….

Hey, where are you the very moment I
gaze into the weeping sky
Just wondering if you’re weeping too

I always think of your smile with the facade of a rainbow
And all that conceives in my complex mind is beauty,
Beauty they have longed to grasp

But too wide…

Like the waters…

‘Coz when they cry, they only see the tears
As it is…

BUt tears I see, speak of you as the delicate seas
Rushing through my nape
Waking  me up, as I storm deep inside

ANd there you always are
And there you always are…

To undress the world from it’s ugliness
To make it see again
And if I owned the world, yes…I will let you

If only I owned the world…

                                                  -Bejay

The sky was dark, it was past eight
We argued much on big mistakes
You looked me straight and said sorry baby
Can’t believe what I’ve been….
Held my tears behind my misty eyes,
Behind my lying eyes
Held them back since you came in
And so I said I’ve never been  so perfect
I could have shown you more
Yet I failed so much, I presume
NOw, there you were, so weak
Hurting me as if you wanted me to go…I wish you know

Wandered around and you tried reading me
And so, I did the same, but prayed you’d somehow see
We kept talking bout the things before
You’ve hurt me much,  you’d hurt me more
If you keep going,
Then we both stopped talking…

Then I realized it was already late
I had to let go of your hand and the tears I’ve held prison
I said sorry, time can’t wait…..
And so I did!

You stopped the hour and said "one last kiss"
And there you were
When I tried to argue back
Just couldn’t resist…

And as I felt the river running through my bare cold feet
I was high with the stars and I can see them smiling back at me
And oh, your hand felt like the sun in a  dreary December
As you held me close to kill my seemingly endless shiver
YOu held my hand, like you held my world
And as the stars rolled away from the vast heaven blankets
YOu breathed the same air I was breathing
And I wanted to be you’re moment like the way I had you as mine
I said "why" but why can’t we ever stop the time, from running
It just kept on running…
         
* * *
The sky was dark;  we did’t seem to care
I have lain on your arms through my crumpled hair
And as those tiny smacks surfaced like raindrops on my cheek
I wanted to tell you a thousand words
But I only chose to speak through another moment, another kiss…

                                                                    -Bejay

Two days from now, I will have to go back to the muddled city where I’ll have to contain a great deal of the sweltering heat and dust again…  Goodbye offpeak sessions (I admit on being nocturnal because of the net), and hello hardwork!  Everthing I’ll have to face in the city would mean my life,  I mean risks are just about everywhere…  Reminds me that I was once so sensible to tragedies and emergency alarms, that the mere screaming of the ambulance and vigorous tire screeches gave me chills and made me instantly nervous to the highest degree…And, college changed me, as I had to get get acclimatized to these really freaky commotions.  It changed me in the sense that i no longer tremble and nail-bite like a little kid, I became more brawny and tough enabling me to make my own decisions. Little by little college built up my sense of responsibility and independence since inevitable situations in the big city calls.  The hardest point is the solitude there always is…  I mean I couldn’t help but say I used to have a home and now I’m a drifter without a face.  The dramatic scene in my college life is the "culture-shock", and the lost of identity I obtain. I wanted to feel like a conqueror at the start, but then began to lose idealism, the city is big and I’m too small…

    Hard it may be, I will be striving once again…

    The comeback of the ultimate Bejay…

    This time, stronger, tougher…and still pretty(hehe)

     The point is, although we have to be aware of the tensions around…  Political, Social, and the like, it still pays to look at the brighter side.

Let me quote A.E Houseman… "if a man is insensible to poetry, it does not follow that he gets no pleasure from poems…"

To me, poetry is not of the measures, or the standards, neither the form…But to me it’s what the soul fails to deliver when we sometimes fail to look deeper…and to perceive.   

…In the realm of your famous wake
Is an urge of a voiceless sigh
The call begins in the morning
Waking the birds

The sun refuses pardon
But the light strews its face
But the whisper of the clock
May awaken the birds…

Their beaks I see are futile
But a worm would mean life
Now the sound of the breach
Has awaken the birds…

The fire has yet refused
To stop burning since the night,
The due fails to cover the ends
As it awakens the birds…

                               - Bejay

It would like to keep the elucidation to myself.  I’d rather keep it a mystery than loose it’s depth….

    About time that we pick up the pieces we have strewn up for the sake of relishing the quite lengthy summer break…When I say "pieces”  im trying to tell about the state of mind which enables us to think more like students, the "focus" it is…
    I admit, we can’t avoid but lose our eye view into something much more invitng, but our student instinct tells us when it crosses the limits. And when we listen, we are spared, and when we don’t…we may still be spared, in a few cases, atleast!
    I myself have left a bucket-load of unaccomplished things from the past sem…and it keeps hunting me like conscience.  Maybe it really is conscience…  And since, I’m given a fresh start, I can be more myself once again, passionately idealistic, but still  impulsive to learn and to make people learn, hehe!
    I can almost taste the pencil eraser that gets nibbled when  mentally poured and agitated..euww! And a week from now, I’ll be in between the four sacred walls once again…
    No,  I wont be supressing the tingling of excited bells inside my stomach, I will be anticipating instead.  It’s always nice to set our minds into something that brings us back to the focus, making us recognize more what is right in our student instinct…  The instinct that separates the living from the dead…
    My dean said it’ never does any harm for us to aspire on something…  I was very much moved, greatly……

    Pagkadali sa panahon, as the cliche goes…….it’s June once again.